Wednesday, April 29, 2015

How to be miserable at your dream job

Twice in as many years I thought I had the perfect job.  At least, I tried to convince myself of this fact.  Who could complain?  The pay was good, the people were nice, the product/service was admirable.  I wasn't just dealing with e-commerce selling widgets, I was working on software that by all rights should be making people's lives better.  There were perks like free sodas, business trips to cool places, full medical benefits at no cost.  The first one even had flex time and partial telecommute.

But I was not happy.

Turns out I am just not a good fit for certain types of companies.  Namely, larger ones.  As in, larger than I can count on my fingers.  This is not to say I am not a "team player" or that I was not "invested" in the company.  But I am finding out that working for a really small company (or being a really small company) is where I excel.

I can't be a cog in a bigger machine.  I have to be a more important, integral part of something, or I loose my passion for it.  At a small company, I am the expert.  I can make choices and evangelize for them.  I don't have to deal with bureaucracy.

The second of the two companies, I took a chance and jumped into a development stack I had no experience with (.NET and Microsoft).  Turned out I just wasn't very good at it, and I was miserable working with it.  I should have never let my standards down (sorry MS lovers).  I took the job because of the company and their product alone, ignoring the lack of experience and the fact that it was a bigger company.  That was a mistake.

I had offers from larger companies, willing to pay a whole lot more than I was making, offering amazing perks, etc.  I turned them down.  I wasn't willing to work somewhere I knew I would hate, just for a lot of money (never mind the commutes were hell).

The job I finally accepted, I told him straight up, I am not too concerned about money as long as its enough to pay the bills. I am more interested in a good company where I can be myself and be happy working with the tools I know best.

I think I've learned my lesson.  Small is beautiful. Which is the way I've always approached anything creative.  

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